Category Archives: Poetry

Window

Artemis

ha
that little sound whittles its own way into my chest
poking and prodding and snickering around and about my heart.

ha

the looks
the stares
they overwhelm me
i am crying inside
fat soppy salties that ache.

part of me wants to scream

fine! fine!
part of me wants to yell
i hate you ALL!
part of me wants to whisper
no.

i don’t say

a word.

they want to fold me up and stuff me in their NO-THING-UN-NORMAL box.

they want to jam me into their skimpy dresses and show me off to the boys.

they want to paint my face to look picture pretty perfect!
they want me to be like them
just like them.

but i am no mirror of society

i am no puppet to be worked by the performer’s hand

I AM NO WISH OF SOMETHING NOT THERE!

i am this imperfect little globe
of truth.

I AM NO MIRROR OF ALL THAT ISN’T!

i am a window
to the real me.

~ Glass Phoenix

She Fell in Love

my best friendhands
fell in love
when we were 15,
and disappeared
into a world
i am not
a part of.

“wait for me”
i would whisper
“i’m not ready for you
to be gone from my life
yet.”

but she was in love
and didn’t hear me.

i still whisper sometimes
to the spot in me
she used to be.

“i still love you, sister.”
i tell her empty seat
“i still can be your friend”
but she has run away
from me.

now we are 16
and my best friend
is still in love.

and here i am
sitting under the tree
watching the water
in my cup
ripple
as i breath on it.

all i wanted
was a hug.

~ Glass Phoenix

 

Pain Does Not Live

I tried to kill the pain.
I tried to kill pain, not me.
But I birthed a more evil existence than pain.
Invisible to all but me, it lives inside my mind pulsing through my bloodstream.
I tried to kill the pain,
but instead I now try to kill this evil spirit.
Only I can see it,
It holds the pain inside me.
It kills the pain  but like good things it comes with a cost,
and this time the cost is me.

I wanted to kill the pain.
I wanted to drown it,
like it drowned me.
It drowned me in darkness.

I tried to cut it out, but then realized it was not easy to do so.
I tried to rip it out of my mind. I tried to bruise it so it would feel what it caused me.
I tried to kill the pain inside of me.

I tried to smother it out, but it killed my light before I understood,
I could not takes its light because it contained nothing but the darkness it saved me from.
I realized we would have to live as one.
It held the pain so I wouldn’t have to.

But I did have to.
I tried to kill the pain.
I tried to run from it, I tried to run so far the demon would not be able to reside in me.
But it seemed to be me.

It seemed that it was undefeatable
I cried and cried
and then it clicked.

Darkness is defeated by light,
hate can be diffused with love,
pain can be replaced with comfort.

so I sat,
I loved
I accepted
I tried to kill the pain
but pain does not live.
It can’t be killed but it can be
replaced.

~Lotus Blossom

black-and-white-lion-face

Confusion

Confusion

I shudder and I sit.
A quake and I stand.
A tumble and I fall,
then you reach out a shadowed hand.

A reach and I fall,
an opening and I shatter.
The mirror is then splattered with illusions.

Why do I believe every time it is okay,
because you’ve always been there?
Or because you’ve always lied.

Why do I believe this is normal?
Is it because they believe me when we look at them with our deceiving eyes?

Why is this wrong?
Is it because I might die?
But every time I turn there is another door,
and nothing on the other side.

So we walk,
with your forceful arm around me,
“addicting as you are, we will never be one.”
I run.

I stumble, I fall,
and yet another hand tries to support me.
I fall.

~Lotus Blossom

Scarred by Immortal DayDreamer

They say the people that look the happiest are the most damaged Inside, so nobody can tell
They are the ones who have been through more than you could ever imagine, more than you would’ve ever guessed.

I found out that it’s true
But it’s not that we want to hide our past
Or that we want to forget it
It’s not something you can get over
We just want to make the best of what we have, and find out what’s around the next corner
We’re strong like that

No, we aren’t unstable
No, we don’t hide around in our beds all day
Maybe we want to
But we don’t

It’s because we believe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel
There’s a reason we are still on this earth
living
breathing
existing

Just because we haven’t found it yet
Doesn’t mean we never will

Because it is there
The reason we’re alive
And we’re not going to give up trying to find it
Not now, not ever
Because what doesn’t kill you makes you so much stronger
And life is worth living, even in the depths of despair
It will get better. It always does. It already is.

Scarred

They say the people that look the happiest are the most damaged Inside, so nobody can tell
They are the ones who have been through more than you could ever imagine, more than you would’ve ever guessed.

I found out that it’s true
But it’s not that we want to hide our past
Or that we want to forget it
It’s not something you can get over
We just want to make the best of what we have, and find out what’s around the next corner
We’re strong like that

No, we aren’t unstable
No, we don’t hide around in our beds all day
Maybe we want to
But we don’t

It’s because we believe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel
There’s a reason we are still on this earth
living
breathing
existing

Just because we haven’t found it yet
Doesn’t mean we never will

Because it is there
The reason we’re alive
And we’re not going to give up trying to find it
Not now, not ever
Because what doesn’t kill you makes you so much stronger
And life is worth living, even in the depths of despair
It will get better. It always does. It already is.

I’m Here For You

These are four words
And yes they mean a lot
It means that I’ll be here for you
When other peeps are not

When you are at your worst
You hide your tear-stained face
I will take you in my arms
Sink into my embrace

Rant about whatever you need to
I will listen to every word
Give the best advice I can
Let you know that you’ve been heard

We may not be the best of friends
But when I see you cry
It rips me up, I want to help
You have to let me try

I wont try to tell you
My problems are worse than yours
Because I know that won’t help the tears
That wash up on your shores

Maybe you’re broken beyond repair
Maybe there’s nothing I can do
Maybe you want to push me away
And that’s just what you’ll do

I won’t follow you
I won’t make you come back
I will not pester you about anything
I will get off your back

I will leave you alone
For as long as you need
Because its important to have your own space
As long as you don’t do the deed.

But even though you push me out
You just can’t let me in
Just know that I am here for you
No matter what, thick and thin.

I’ll always be here
And I love you
Just give me a call
I’m here for you.

~Immortal Daydreamer~

“Hey” By Immörtal Daydreämer

Peering through the wildflowers I see him
Sleeping like a kitten, riding bareback on his speckled horse
It browses through the clovers, its fuzzy pink nose just barely brushing the leaves before it munches the weeds.
His bag is hooked carelessly on his shoulder, just begging to fall off.
I lay on my belly, the grass tickling my nose just enough that it mildly annoys me.
A gust of wind carries my scent to the creature and it lifts it’s head, searching for something new
I contemplate whether to sneak away like I was never there
Or stay and watch the delicacy of it all
After all, I was there first.
A rebellious bee declares it’s love for the boy by landing on his nose, then speeding away as he swipes at the empty air.
He falls to the ground with a thump.
I can’t see him that well now, he decides to be annoying and stay hidden in the grass.
I stare at the spot where he fell, praying for a tree to explode or something so he will show his face once more.
His horse wanders away into the meadow, obviously bored with the meaninglessness of it all.
I continue to gaze at the spot.
I can barely make out his silhouette
He’s so close to me, but I dare not make a sound.
I hear him yawn, and see his tired arms stretch up into the morning sky.
He rolls over, and I can see his whole face.
Can he see me?
He is looking right at me, I swear.
My heart beats faster than the wings of a frightened hummingbird.
A curious smile plays on his lips, and my heart melts.
He rubs the sleep out of his eyes, and I can’t take my eyes off of him.
He sits up, so now all I can see are his brown jeans and bare feet staring back at me, daring me to make a move.
I roll my eyes and sit up, now surrounded in pink petals, like something out of a love story.
I wiggle my toes, and enjoy the pure bliss of spring.
Finally, our eyes meet.
When he speaks at last, it is the most precious sound I have ever heard in my entire existence.
His tired groggy morning voice mumbles

Hey

barefootr

I Am My Mother’s Daughter By Sierra Heather

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I am my mother’s daughter
For those who don’t know what that means,
It means I’m brave and strong and kind
And many other things

It means I value truth
And I need it in return
It means I treasure books and art
And love to love to learn

It means I get ecstatic
By an orchid in Hawaii
It means I know, with all my soul,
That death is not goodbye

It means I have a wild side
And a temper that can hurt
It means I feel complete in heels
And like to laugh and flirt

I am my mother’s daughter
And I see it every day
When I look inside myself I know
She’ll never go away.

What I Know Now

By Sierra Heather

I know now what toilet paper tastes like.
I know what heartbreak feels like.
I know what it’s like to be incredibly happy and unimaginably sad.
Sometimes at the same time and sometimes just the sad.
I know what it’s like to have no words to describe the pain that you feel;
The bewilderment, the anger, the feelings of insanity.
I know how it feels to go to your first prom, or get your first big role in a high school musical and still have a part of you that’s dead.
I know what it’s like to see your entire family cry, and scream, and throw things.
I know that in some ways I’m younger than my 16 years, and in many ways so much older.
Older than my friends, older than some people will ever get in the span of their lives.
I know that I’ve wanted to make some people saints for their words.
I know that much more often I want to punch them in the face and scream at them.
“Don’t you get it? This isn’t something I’m going to “get over”. And even if I could I would never choose to do so.”
But I know I would make most of the world think I’m crazy, so I keep silent.
I know to keep my hurt inside, like an insane person locked in a padded room, so they can’t injure themselves.
I know that those who tell me what I should be feeling and when I should be feeling it are full of bullshit.
I know that people who have experienced loss know that grief is like a rogue train with no time table.
No scheduled departs and arrivals, no warning of a crash or a breakdown.
I know that I have to cherish each loved one, appreciate each moment.
Because you never know what lies ahead on the tracks.